At 9pm, my eyes get sandy and my energy drops. Time for bed. I tuck myself under the covers and drift to sleep.
At 2am, my bladder wakes me and I pad off to the bathroom. When I return to bed, I snuggle back in, thinking that sleep will return to me.
Instead, a hurricane of thoughts fills my head. Lessons I need to plan, copies I need to make, a quiz I need to alter. The research paper I need to write for the class I’m taking. And when will I get it done with house guests two weeks in a row and a mini-vacation planned after that? And the refrigerator needs to be cleaned, and I forgot to buy flea prevention for the dogs. There’s a log cabin show at the state fairgrounds this weekend. Where will I buy the fruit trees I want to plan and when should I plant them and where? Do I really want the strawberries where I had originally planned them? If we buy a tractor, will there be enough money left to purchase the supplies to build an outhouse this summer?
I roll over, hoping a change in position will help. The cat shifts her weight on my legs, wondering why I’m disturbing her sleep.
I remember I didn’t put away the laundry yet, or vacuum the living room rug. I wonder if bleaching the well is the best way to get rid of the sulfur smell in the water.
The cat box needs to be cleaned.
I ask God to clear my mind so I can get back to sleep.
Will the research project I thought of for my eighth graders be too hard? Is it okay if it’s hard because they need a challenge? Why haven’t we heard back from the meat processor about the deer Stephan took there a few weeks ago after he hit it with his car?
Flip the pillow to the cool side. Look at the clock. Thirty minutes have passed. Forty-five.
Everything I just thought about runs through my head again, this time in a different order. Trees, tractor, strawberries, outhouse, research, guests, fridge, vacuum, lessons, laundry.
I try to release it all, but mostly it continues to run in the mental hamster wheel.
My eyes droop again, and I hope this time it will be for good.
Soon, it will be time to get up.