In my mind, I have written much, but lately have rarely set pen to paper and even more rarely have I put my thoughts and words out for others to read.
The reasons are many. Some are practical: work keeps me busy and the class I am taking keeps me busier. Our internet at home has been fussy and difficult.
Other reasons are less concrete. What is the purpose of writing and sharing my thoughts? How much do I want people to know? Especially when some of my readers may be utterly unknown to me? And why would they want to read what I say anyhow?
Why do I write? I thinking back over the last couple of decades, I have been regretting the courses I did not take in college. I wish I had enrolled in more writing classes. The reasons I didn’t, again, are numerous. For one thing, I scarcely had room in my schedule for that which was required for my major. My choices were few.
But maybe I could have fit in a writing class or two. Why didn’t I? Fear, partly. The words Creative Writing seize my heart with trepidation. Stories do not come to my head. Plots peter out long before the climax. Journalism did not interest me. At the time, writing was something that had to be done to pass the literature courses. I wasn’t sure I would be good at any other kind of writing. And I wasn’t about to take a risk in a class that might lower my GPA.
But now, I think writing is more important to me than it once was. It’s a way to connect, and for an introvert like me, finding ways to connect can be important. It’s a way to process thoughts. And I have a lot of thoughts running around in my brain.
These days, everyone’s a writer, it seems. Or, I guess, everyone’s a blogger. Perhaps the two terms are not interchangeable. So what have I to offer that isn’t already out there by hundreds of others across the world?
Not much. Just me. My voice.
And that’s unique, I guess. I don’t know if it’s something anyone else wants to read. And I must consider carefully what I truly want to share.
But in my mind, I have written much.
Perhaps it’s time to let it out.