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Keeping the Faith

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Sometimes it’s hard, when God has asked you to trust him, to keep on hanging on.

Especially when it’s been six months and money’s a little tight and things aren’t going quite the way you’d thought they might.

Like when the job for which you thought maybe God was preparing you turned out not to be what he had in mind after all, and someone else was chosen for the position despite the many hours of volunteering and substitute teaching you did, partly because you thought it would help you secure employment there at some point.

And you know that God is faithful, and you want to be faithful, too.  You want to keep trusting him, like you said you would, but it gets hard and a little bit scary.

You want God to provide the absolute perfect job for you, the one that is a perfect fit, the one where you can stay until the end of your career in twenty or thirty years.  So you don’t want to rush him or push him, but you get a little afraid of losing the peace he had given you six months ago when he asked you to trust him.  And you don’t want to fail.  You know that “if we are faithless, he will remain faithful, for he cannot disown himself” (2 Timothy 2:13) but you don’t want to be faithless.

Still, you feel like you’re losing your grip a little bit.  And as you send off more job applications, you pray, hoping this is the one, or that God wouldn’t really put you there, depending on the school, but still trying very hard to trust that he will put you in the perfect spot.

And you know it’s only June, and school doesn’t start for another two months, but while you don’t want to panic you definitely feel an urgency because you really don’t want to substitute teach anymore.

But when God asked you to trust him, he didn’t really say what he had in mind.

And that, of course, is where trust comes in, because if you knew what was planned, there wouldn’t be much trust involved, would there?

So you keep praying — a little more, a little harder — that God will help you to keep trusting, and that he will not test your faith too much longer because you really don’t want to fail him.

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About Karen Koch

I like the old-fashioned lifestyle. All this new-fangled stuff baffles me sometimes. I cherish living out in the country, raising chickens and rabbits, planting fruit trees, and enjoying a slow life filled with beautiful words and ideas. I don't always achieve a slow life. I teach middle school English and manage a little burgeoning farm with my husband, and somewhere in the midst of that, I try to find time for writing, running, knitting, reading, and playing the ukulele. And sometimes, I actually succeed.

2 responses »

  1. Thank you for sharing your heart, your pain, your faith!
    We love you!

    Reply
  2. Pingback: When God Answers Prayer « oldfangled

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