It was time for the morning meeting. As I stood up, my chest got tight and I couldn’t get a deep breath. It felt a lot like the previous Thursday when I was at a different meeting and the accountant was hounding me about the payroll taxes. Except at least the daily morning meeting didn’t bring me to tears.
Daily operations — or rather, daily interpersonal relations — were such that I just wanted to hide in my office and not talk to anyone. Which kind of worked, because the office manager had stopped talking to me. Still, I heard what was going on with other employees. The US vs THEM attitudes, the subtle bullying, the refusal to work as a cohesive team.
At home, I sat in a chair, grouchily knitting. Chef called with some little question about something. I answered him monosyllabically. He asked what was wrong. “Same old stuff,” I said. When he came home, we talked. “I just want to quit now,” I wailed.
“Well…” he replied. “Why don’t you?” We decided that while we don’t have all the money saved up that we’d intended, we’re close. “And if God wants us to trust him, then we should trust him. Besides, we’ll never know if we can make it unless we try it.”
It’s scary, for sure. But with subbing, and tutoring (I’ve got one pupil lined up already), and some freelance work for some friends, I’m hopeful we’ll be okay.
So today, I put in my notice. My last day of work will be Thursday, February 2.