Some of Chef’s favorite jokes:
1. “I met a woman the other day who was sad that she didn’t have a husband. So I married her, too. Isn’t that big o’ me? (bigamy)”
2. When there has been a delay at the bank or other place of business and the teller or clerk says, “I’m sorry about your wait,” Chef replies, “Hey, I’m on a diet!” (wait / weight)
3. As we are walking anywhere together (or rather, he is walking and I am hobbling), he asks, “Do you want me to carry your crutches for you?”
4. When asked what he’s fixing for dinner, “Nothing. I’m going to do it right the first time.” (I never say “fixing dinner” anymore. I always say “making” or “preparing” instead of “fixing.”)
5. When we’re having Indian tea with our meal, he likes to say, “If at first you don’t succeed, chai chai again.”
6. Q: Why do dogs like to have bones? A: Because otherwise their arms and legs would be all floppy!
7. When he’s leaving and I say, “I’ll miss you,” he replies, “Well, I don’t want you to hit me.”
8. Hilarious, isn’t he? Well, he thinks he is, anyway.