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My Dogs Are Idiots

I’m glad that dogs have iron stomachs.  If I ate the things Gryffon and Gracie seem to like, I would die.  Or explode.  Or at least be extremely sick.

A few years ago, Chef and I took the dogs for a walk along the river.  They were very interested in the geese who live there.  Since the leashes prevented the pups from going after the fowl, Gryffon and Gracie satisifed themselves with goose poop instead.

Perhaps to canines, it’s a delicacy.

One day, I came home from work to find that Gryffon had torn open a five pound bag of flour.  He’d spread it all over the dining room.

With so much on the floor, it was hard to believe that he’d eaten any, but he had.  And there was gastrointestinal evidence of his deed in the middle of the night.  That was not fun to clean up.

Another day I came home and found that Gracie had thrown up in her crate.  And no wonder — apparently she had eaten a piece of fabric and a ball of aluminum foil.

Since we heat largely with wood, the dogs find it easy to get their fiber.  They continually chew on and even eat twigs, sticks, and small pieces of wood that have dropped around the fireplace.

Sometimes the fire is difficult to light, especially if the logs are green or wet.  We bought some resin bricks to make it easier to get the flames going.  Last week, Chef was having trouble getting the fire started, so I broke a resin brick off the cake for him.  We both stepped away for a bit, and when he returned, he asked where I’d put it.  “Right there on the hearth,” I said.  And then I saw that it was gone.  “Those dirty dogs!” I exclaimed.

Chef looked all over the house, thinking Gryffon had just hidden the brick, but after a while, we determined that the dog had likely eaten it.  Surprisingly, he suffered no ill effects from the flammable resin.

But I’ll keep him away from matches for a few more days, just to be sure.

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About Karen Koch

I like the old-fashioned lifestyle. All this new-fangled stuff baffles me sometimes. I cherish living out in the country, raising chickens and rabbits, planting fruit trees, and enjoying a slow life filled with beautiful words and ideas. I don't always achieve a slow life. I teach middle school English and manage a little burgeoning farm with my husband, and somewhere in the midst of that, I try to find time for writing, running, knitting, reading, and playing the ukulele. And sometimes, I actually succeed.

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