My sister and her whole family came to visit me today. I was all in aflutter trying to get ready. I wanted to make sure the lawn got cut, but four days of rain and a broken mower belt seemed to conspire against me. I bought food for lunch for when they were here, but was worried whether it would be enough and whether they would like it. Then I noticed my rosacea was acting up, and that always makes me feel self-conscious.
Things were fine while they were here. Husband fixed the mower and I got all the grass cut just in time (and even managed to get a shower before the family arrived!) No one complained of being hungry after lunch (though perhaps they were being nice). I was worried about whether they would be entertained, but we had volleyball and badminton and a tour of the property and my nieces especially enjoyed the baby rabbits. And we played Apples to Apples and one nephew entertained me with card tricks.
I met another nephew’s girlfriend and wished that I could be more like my mother-in-law who can talk to anyone and can draw people out and who learns about and connects with people in a way I cannot figure out how to do. In the end, I did not get to know the young lady as well as I’d have liked.
All in all, I realized that I’m always trying to measure up to someone. I want to do everything well. This is an impossible task. I know that. But the impossibility of it does not stop me from desiring it. I want to garden as well as my brother-in-law despite the fact that I hate weeding. I want to connect with people like my mother-in-law even though in reality, I don’t really like people. I want to be as detail-oriented as my mother and sister, but the fact is that I would rather look at the big picture.
I ask myself: If all my dishes were plates, how would I eat soup? If all my appliances were refrigerators, how would I cook? If all my tools were hammers, how would I tighten a screw? I know that God made each of us different because things just wouldn’t work if everyone were the same.
I just don’t always know what He wants with a misanthropic, unathletic hater of details like me.
But here is what I do know.
I teach middle schoolers and I love it. And that is an age a lot of people don’t love.
Today, I talked relatively intelligently to my niece about knitting and to my nephew about the ukulele.
Over the past decade or so, Husband and I have had guests in our home countless times.
If you need help with your grammar, I’m the gal to ask.
I don’t excel at mathematics or art or using power tools. But God made me a unique person, and I need to be as happy with His creation as He is.