Over the last year, I’ve written in even-numbered months about what’s going on around our place, and in odd-numbered months about what Bernadette Smart, the main character of my novel, might imagine in similar circumstances.
The novel is… maybe finished. I keep feeling like it needs one more look-through, one more edit, one more pass from an editor. Or maybe an agent. But how do I navigate these waters when I have so much else on my plate?
After attending a writing conference last weekend, I have a couple of ideas of my next steps, and I want to take them — developing a proposal, looking for an agent. I want to do these things! And yet part of me thinks maybe I need to purposefully take some time away from it. Over the past year, out of sheer busyness (but also the feeling that maybe it’s done?), I’ve barely worked on the book. It has continued to hang over my head, and I continually feel like I should be working on it.
But I don’t work on it, and then I feel guilty about it — especially when people ask me, “How’s the book coming?” I wonder if it might be time for me to just respond, “I’m shelving it for now to focus on other things.”
What other things?
Well, I’m continuing my Master’s degree; moving at my current rate, I should finish in December of 2019. And then I might take coursework to get my administrator’s license in Curriculum and Instruction.
In the meantime, I continue to take on leadership responsibilities at school. This coming year, I’ll be on the school improvement committee and maybe the social committee, both of which are new for me. And I’ll still be co-sponsoring middle school student council, plus teaching a full load of classes — some of which are as large as 28 students. On top of that, I’ll be working with a Ball State English Education student who wants to do an intensive, voluntary internship with me. I’m really excited about that. And a Ball State professor and I will use that experience as a basis for research on pre-service teacher education. Whew!
And Husband keeps working away on building the house, so I’m hopeful that sometime soon, I’ll actually have something to do — choosing colors and picking out rugs and helping to design the kitchen and whatnot. (Right now I’m focusing on being an excellent cheerleader as he mills logs and does complicated math. Occasionally he needs my massive muscles to help him shift a log onto the mill, as well.)
So, what with studying and teaching and grading and leading and cheering, I’ve got a lot going on. I’m still writing, but most of my writing focuses on my coursework. I’m not sure I have more Bernadette stories for this blog, but I do plan to keep up my teaching blog, Good Morning, Class! Please pop over there and subscribe if you’re at all interested.
And as for the book, today is a day of discouragement, but I’m hoping for more uplifting days soon. I’ll keep you updated.